Fighting for Life
by Wbrinkerman
Summary: A new SVU detective catches a case that proves your past can come back to haunt you if you try to run and hide from it
1. Prologue

**Ok so this is my first crack at a story idea for SVU. The first few chapters might be rough but just stick with it because it will get better. I hope the adventures I send my OC on with the rest of the SVU squad will keep you intrigued. So here goes nothing. I own nothing.**

I had been at SVU for a few months and I was already in a life or death situation. Before being transferred over to the Special Victims Unit, I was working in Homicide. As you can imagine, I didn't have much experience when it came to dealing with live victims. Anyway back to what I was saying before. I was tied up in a basement somewhere and I had to get out somehow. My hands were tied in front of me and around a pole. It was pretty sturdy. I could feel the rope slowly digging into my skin. I could hear footsteps moving across the floor upstairs. I knew that the odds were not in my favor. I had been beaten, was bloody, I was tied up, and there really wasn't a way out for me. As the man made his way down the stairs I knew what I was in for. He would most likely beat me but I wasn't going down without a fight. Then I saw him. He appeared with a baseball bat and he just hit me behind the knees with all he had and then he hit me again in the back. I was on the ground with pain shooting through my body. Then he got down and grabbed the back of my head and pulled it towards him and he hissed.

"Maybe this will teach you to keep your nose out things it doesn't belong in."

With that he slammed my head into the pole and everything went black. I felt nothing at all. It was just a painless vat of darkness.

I bet your wondering how I got in the situation I was in. To get to this point I'll have to take you back all the way to the beginning, back to the day I caught a seemingly normal case at SVU.


	2. Chapter 1

**I own nothing but my characters and my storyline. The Italics later on in the story will indicate a flashback. I might use them in this chapter but I am not a hundred percent sure but there will be flashbacks in this story.**

 **-Four Months Earlier-**

It was a normal day as I walked into the 1-6 precinct. I had been there two weeks and was finally settling in. I had a bunch of paper work for a case that was going to court. I was sitting and working on paper work when I was called into the lieutenant's office.

"Hey Benson, you wanted to see me?"

As far as COs went, Olivia was the best and probably the only CO that I liked. It was easy to get along with her as long as you didn't step on her toes.

"Yeah, come in and close the door."

As I did I saw two other members of the squad. Fin Tutuola was a tough looking guy but was a cool guy once you got to know him. On my first case, I got the chance to sit in a stakeout car with him and he was a cool guy. He had been in the squad a long time and was one of the veterans along with Olivia. Amanda Rollins was the other squad member in there. She was there before I was but hadn't been around as long as Benson or Tutuola had. I didn't know much about her but I guess not many people are super open. As I made my way over to the others my curiosity peaked.

"What's going on guys?"

I looked over at Olivia

"We caught a case and the vic is at Mercy Hospital. Carisi is already at the crime scene so I want Rollins and Fin to go and talk to the vic and get her statement. Shepherd I want you to and talk to the ADA. Novak will be filling in for Barba on this case and others until he gets back into town. I want you tell her That we might need her down here sooner than we thought. Just tell her about the case and inform her on what is going on."

I nodded and then walked over and grabbed the file from Olivia. After that we all headed our separate ways and I headed down to the DA's office.

I knocked on the door and I heard some movement inside before someone called out.

"Come in."

I opened the door and saw a strawberry blonde sitting at a desk working on paper work. I moved toward the desk.

"Casey Novak?"

She looked up and nodded.

"How can I help you?"

"I'm Detective Matt Shepherd for Special Victims Unit."

"Detective Shepherd…. Right, you're here to prepare for the trail of the Sullivan kidnapping case… but we weren't supposed to meet until later today."

I shook my head and handed her the file that I had in my hand.

"Actually, I just stopped by to let you know about a new case that came through today. There isn't much in the file but we are currently gathering information."

She just looked at me and nodded.

"Alright, well I be waiting for more information so that we can proceed with the case but until then just remember that you have to be back here at noon for trail preparation."

I nodded and as I was leaving my phone rang.

"Shepherd…yeah…alright I'm on my way."

I made my way down to the precinct. As I walked in on the floor I made my way over to the board as Rollins was about to brief us about the victim.

"Our victim is Karen Smith. She is a stay at home wife who was raped at home. Her sister found her and called 911."

I was curious but before I could say anything Olivia asked what I was thinking.

"Where was the husband?"

"The husband was at work during the attack but the doctor found multiple previously healed injuries which might suggest that Smith might be a battered woman. We can't say for sure since she has denied that her husband had any involvement of her attack. She claims that she doesn't know her attacker."

Olivia sighed.

"Alright well why don't we got talk to the husband. Matt, you and Amanda go and talk with the husband and see what he has to say."

Rollins and I made our way to the upper east side to a stock trading company. As we made our way up to the floor I was going over the details of the attack. When I heard the elevator ding, I snapped out of my thoughts and walked onto the floor. We walked up to secretary's desk and I pulled out my badge and showed it to the secretary.

"I'm detective Shepherd and this is my partner detective Rollins and we are looking for Mark Smith."

The secretary hesitated before answering.

"Mr. Smith is busy but if you would like to come back in an hour he will be open to talk then."

I nod

"I see well this has to do with Mr. Smith's wife so I think he might want to talk about this now."

The secretary looked at us and then led us back to his office. She knocked on the door and there was a quick answer at the door.

"Mr. Smith these detectives are here to ask you some questions."

He nodded as she walked away. He led us into the room and while he did Rollins spoke up.

"That's funny, your secretary said you were busy but I don't see anything here keeping your attention."

Smith looked at her and just sighed.

"I was hoping I could get an hour of peace before heading into back to back meetings but how can I help the NYPD?"

I began to explain.

"Mr. Smith we are here because your wife was attacked this morning and ended up in the hospital. Did you know anything about that?"

"I obviously didn't because if I did I would be there with Karen instead of here in my office."

"Well when we are done here you can go and visit her but first Mr. Smith, how was your marriage?"

He seemed a little agitated at this point.

"My marriage is fine and we are happy together. What are you suggesting detective?"

"I'm not suggesting anything sir, I'm just trying to gather information."

Rollins stepped up.

"Mr. Smith we didn't mean to upset you but we needed to know. We are just covering our bases."

He nodded

"Look, Karen and I are happy. I would never do anything to harm her. If she said anything otherwise, then she was lying through her teeth.

He looked over at me and continued with his aggressive tone.

"Now if you'll excuse me detective I have to go be with my wife."

With that he walked out. As we walked out I looked over at Rollins.

"He seemed a little jumpy when I asked him about his marriage. Maybe he is abusing his wife."

Rollins nodded

"Yeah and maybe he is hiding something else. You want me to drop you off at the precinct?"

I looked down at my watch.

"No, but if you could drop me at the ADA's office that would be great."

She nodded as we got into the car. About 20 minutes later she pulled up to the ADA's office and I got out of the car. I thanked her and then made my way up to Novak's office.

I made my way to her office and saw that her door was open so I knocked on it. She looked up and got up to meet me at the door. She motioned to the couch that was in her office.

"Please have a seat detective."

I made my way into her office and sat down on the couch. I watched as she made her way over to her desk and watched as she picked up a file before sitting down on the opposite side of a table from me.

"Mr. Shepherd..."

"Please, it's Matt."

"Ok...Matt, the defense is going to dig things up and try to discredit you on the stand. I know you've been in other trials so I know all of this sounds familiar but if there is anything that the defense might find out about that could work against us please let me know."

I sat there knowing that there might be a couple of things but there is no way that they would be relevant to the case so I didn't bring them up.

"No, I think we are all good."

And with that we spent the next couple of hours we prepared for my first sex crimes trial. After that I was getting ready to leave when I turned back around to Novak.

"Hey Casey, I took up your lunch hour so how about I buy you a late lunch?"

She hesitated a bit but then gave a nod.

"The rest of my day is going to be full of paperwork so sure, why not."

We made our way down the street to a small diner that wasn't too far from the DA's office. Once we were settled in with drinks and food on the we continued our conversation about the case.

"So Matt, any new developments in the Smith case?"

"Not much, Karen Smith seems to be a battered wife who is afraid to say that her attacker is her husband. We went and spoke with the husband but he of course denies ever touching her and so now all we have is a woman who was raped but claims that it is a stranger rape and that's what we have to on until we find other evidence. After this, I am going to head back to the precinct and then canvas the neighborhood and ask the neighbors about the couple. If she is a battered woman, then someone knows something."

She nodded

"You should be careful because you might not get anything. Start with the neighbors and the move on to coworkers and any family members that might say something."

Our food had arrived and with that the conversation went from work to Novak surprisingly talking about other things. She is an avid softball player and went to Harvard law but I had already picked that up just from sitting her office earlier. Then the conversation turned to me.

"So tell me about you."

I looked up at her before responding.

"That sounds like more of a date type of question, are you trying to hint at something counselor?"

She just laughed and shook her head.

"I just thought I should know a little about you since we are going to be working together for a little while. I know a little about the other detectives but since you are the newest detective I'd like to know a little about you."

"Alright, where to start. I grew up in small town in Texas. After school I went into the military and did two tours overseas before I worked as a police office. Then I was promoted to detective. I worked in homicide down there before being transferred up here to the big apple. After a couple of years, I was transferred to SVU and here I sit in front of you today. Oh and I like long walks on the beach and romantic dinners."

She laughed at that last part.

"No, seriously though Casey, I'm just a normal guy who is just doing my part."

She nodded and that seemed to hold her over for now. Which was good because I wasn't ready to divulge all of my secrets just yet. I wasn't even sure how long I was going to be at SVU but as long as I didn't make the mistake of getting to close I would be just fine.

 **I know the story is starting off a little slow but it will get a better as it goes along in the story. I will eventually try to answer any and all questions that might arise throughout the story and if I miss any please just let me know.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Its been a while I know but I just wanted to make sure I had my ideas all laid out before I continued. I like to make an outline of the chapters before I actually sit down and write the chapters up. Sometimes it takes a while but know that chapters will be on their way as soon as I finish typing them up.**

After lunch I walked Casey back to the DA's office and it was a nice warm summer day. Once I left Casey in her office I headed back to the neighborhood where the Smith's live. I walked passed their house and knocked on the neighbor's door. I stood there for a minute before someone came to the door. It was a younger woman.

"Can I help you?"

I smiled and flashed my badge

"I'm detective Shepherd. I was just wondering about your neighbors?"

She seemed to tense up but nodded

"Mark and Karen are wonderful neighbors, it's a shame what happen to Karen."

"Is there anything that seems off about them, like do you ever hear them fighting or see Mrs. Smith appear with bruises that she can't explain?"

She tensed up and began to be defensive and retreating

"They're a wonderful and happy couple, they are also very good parents. If you'll excuse me detective, I have to get back to my son."

With that the door was slammed in my face. I looked around and saw an older woman sitting on her porch drinking a glass of lemonade. I walked over and made my way up the porch steps.

"Hello ma'am, I am detective Matt Shepherd and I'd like to talk with you about your neighbors that live across the street from you."

She smiled and motioned for me to sit in the chair next to her and then poured me a glass of lemonade before she said anything. I smiled and took a drink of from the glass.

"I'm Maybelle Thomas. Karen is a sweet young girl. Always making sure to stop by at least twice a week. She reminds me a little of my daughter. It's a real tragedy what happened to that poor girl."

I nodded

"And what can you tell me about Mr. Smith?"

She frowned and I knew something was off.

"Marcus is terrible to her. He tries to make it seem like they are the perfect couple but he is a monster. I'm almost sure that he beats her. It's hard to think that he might be doing the same thing to Sammy."

"Sammy?"

"yes, he's their son. Thankfully he is off at summer camp and didn't see what happened."

I nodded and with that I helped her carry the glasses and pitcher into the kitchen and when we were done talking I left my card and told her to call me if she could think of anything else that might be helpful.

I made my way back to the squad room. As I made my way over to Olivia's office and knocked on her door. I saw her look up at me.

"What's up Matt?"

"Liv, Rollins and I had a theory that Karen Smith might be a battered wife. She could be lying about when her attack happened. Her husband could have been the one who attacked her and she just told us that he was at work."

Olivia just looked at me but could tell that I peeked her interest but she wasn't totally bought into my theory just yet.

"What kind of proof do you have of this theory you two have come up with?"

"Well after I was done over at the DA's office I went to Karen Smith's neighborhood. The first neighbor I talked to knew something but didn't say anything but the second neighbor I talked to, Maybelle Thomas, told me that she believes that Marcus Smith was abusing his wife. She said Karen appeared at her house multiple times with unexplained bruises and marks with excuses like she walked into a door. She also told me that the couple has a kid, Sammy, who is away at camp. He gets back tomorrow."

She sat there and sighed

"Liv, I really believe that this guy is abusing his wife and we have to do something about it before she ends up dead."

She took off her glasses and looked up at me

"We can't do anything unless Karen wants to give a statement. Until then, go home and get some rest. You have court in the morning and after that you can go and see if Karen is willing to say anything."

With that I left and headed home. I entered my apartment and made my way over to the fridge. I grabbed a beer and stood by the counter. I took a swig as I thought about the case. I thought about Karen and how she could be out of her mind scared of Marcus and that's why she lied. I also found my thoughts slipping to the horrible idea of Marcus abusing his son and that's when my mind slipped to my own memories. I made my way into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I stepped into the shower and my mind slipped off. I thought of my life before the age of 7. I remember my life before it became the life any normal person has their entire life.

 _I was coming home from a ball game. I was a right fielder and caught the final out of the game. My team had one and my dad was having a good day. Everything was fine until he started to yell. I made my way down the stairs. I saw him standing there screaming at my mom and then he slapped her. She was crying and as I made my way down the stairs he began to beat her. I ran down the rest of the stairs and I pushed him off of my mother. I saw her just lying there and not moving. I tried to get to her but felt a fist go across my face. I hit the ground hard. I saw the blood trickling down my face. I stood up and turned to face him. He mocked me._

" _Oh so you're a big man now. You're not gonna do anything to me boy. You're not man enough to do anything."_

 _He hit me again and shoved me against the wall._

" _You're not tough enough, you are just a little wuss."_

 _He screamed that last part at me while he repeatedly kicked me. He would kick me and scream wuss. He kicked me and repeatedly kicked me. The next thing that I remember was waking up in the hospital. I was officially a ward of the state. I went into the foster system._

 _I remember the couple that adopted me became mom and dad to me. They were a nice couple. They were a couple that had their own business and it way taking off. They lived on a ranch and that became my home. Their family became my family. It had been one of the hardest thigs to transition to. I eventually got comfortable enough to except that this was my life now and after my real dad was in jail, enjoyed the rest of my childhood. The only thing I have left to remember the horrible years I had with him was a that was left on the left side of my chest._

I was standing in front of mirror as I just looked at the scar. It's the one scar on my body that stands out. I had wounds from war but the scar on my chest is something that haunts me to this day. I shook the thought out of my head as I brushed my teeth and dried my brown hair and then I headed into my bedroom and just threw on a pair of gym shorts and headed to bed. I laid there in the dark and just listened to the sounds of the city. I slowly drifted to sleep but the memory of that day plagued my nightmares to this day.

I woke up the next day and I put on a suit. I always fumbled with my tie but eventually I got it tied and I headed down to the courthouse. When I got there I saw Casey heading up the stairs. I jogged up the stairs to catch up with her.

"Hey Casey."

She looked over at me and smiled at me.

"Hey, you clean up nicely."

"Well thanks, I thought I'd look my best for my big day."

She laughed

"Well you look great. Are you ready for this?"

"Yeah I'm ready to put this guy in prison."

After a long morning in court I headed out of the courthouse with Casey.

"Congrats on the guilty verdict counselor."

"Well the Sullivan case was one of the easier cases I have had. I mean we had all of the evidence we needed to put the guy away."

"Well it's all in a days work Case, I'll see you later."

I started to walk away but I felt her catch my arm.

"Hey I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch with me?"

I looked at her and I sighed

"Sorry Casey, I can't. I have to go and talk with Karen Smith about something."

I saw the smile on her face drop a little but she quickly fixed it.

"No don't worry about it, I'll just head back to my office it's no big deal."

"but hey, how about I buy you dinner some time?"

She gave a genuine smile this time.

"Sure, how about Friday night?"

"Definitely it's a date."

I smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Yeah, it's a date. I'll see you soon Matt."

With that I headed off to Smith residence. I pulled my car up and saw Mrs. Smith standing outside. I got out of the car and walked up to here.

"Hi, Mrs. Smith, I'm detective Shepherd with the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. Do you mind if I have a word with you?"

She looked at me and I saw fear flash in her eyes. She shook her head.

"I'm sorry but I told the other detectives what actually happened."

"Mrs. Smith, I know you must be scared but if there is anything that you didn't tell us or anything that you lied about its ok. You can tell me and I can keep you and your son safe."

She just shook her head

"If you are insinuating that my husband did this to me then you are off your rocker. He loves me."

"Karen, he doesn't love you if he is doing this stuff to you or your son. If you don't do anything to stop him then he's gonna keep doing this to you guys."

That seemed to upset set her even more.

"You're sick you know that."

Behind me a car pulled up and I saw that it was Mr. Smith. I turned back and saw the same look of fear I saw earlier.

"Look I can't tell you what's not true now please leave me alone."

With that she rushed inside. I turned back and saw Mr. Smith walking up behind me. He gave me a dirty look before heading into the house. I walked over to my car and I was getting to get into my car when I saw a kid riding up on his bike. I walked over to him and showed him my badge.

"Hey, I'm a police officer. My name is Matt, what's your name?"

He looked at me and then at my badge.

"I'm Sam. I have to go inside but do you want me to get my dad?"

I took out one of my cards and handed it to him.

"No but I need you to call me if you ever feel unsafe or if your dad ever does anything that makes you feel unsafe ok Sam."

He nodded and then headed inside. With that I was off and headed back to the precinct. As I was heading back I thought back to my own childhood. I couldn't shake these memories since I found out about the kid. Sitting there in my car on the way back to the precinct I knew that this case was going to a very hard case for me. It was going to make me relive things that I hadn't dealt with in years.

 **Here is the new chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if there is anything that you need answered because I would be happy to answer any questions that you have. I'll put up another chapter as soon as I can. Thanks in advance for reading my story.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Here is another chapter. Thanks for the reviews and I hope you enjoy the story. This is a short chapter that goes back to Shepherd in the basement. Every now and then I'll do this just to mix things up. Chapters like this one will be short.**

 **-Back in the basement-**

I woke up and looked around the room. It was nothing but a pitch black room. I could feel the pain from being hit with the bat. I felt the pain in my head from the pole. I knew that if I didn't get out of this room that I was going to die. I looked around to see if I could find something to cut the rope off of my hands. I looked over and saw a tool box close to the pole. I moved to that side of the pole and laid out on the ground. I got my foot on the side of the box and started to pull it over to me. Once the box turned too much to the right I switched feet and did that until I got the box over to where I was. I then sat on my knees and looked through the box until I found something to cut the rope with. I got a hunting knife that was in the box. I cut the rope and it took a little while and then I just waited. I waited for that bastard to come back down the stairs because this time it was going to be a fair fight.

I had the rope by both ends because I was planning on strangling the man to death. I waited for what seemed like forever. I finally heard footsteps coming down the stairs. When he walks past me I through my arms around his neck and I pulled back. I pulled as hard as I could but before I knew it he elbowed me in my ribs. I felt all the wind being knocked out of me. I hurdled over in pain and when I looked up he was coming after me and tried to punch me but I hit him in the gut. As he was hurdling over I punched him and he went down. Little did I know, he landed near the knife. He was on is back and as I went over to him to start hitting him he took the knife and just lodged it in my leg and quickly pulled it out. He stabbed me again but this time he pulled down on the knife and then pulled it out. I fell to the ground and then I felt him kicking me. He repeatedly kicked me and then he pulled me over to the wall. There was a pipe that went across the wall and then went up towards the end of the room. He got my handcuffs from the table and hand cuffed my hands to the pipe. After that he kicked me a couple of more times before he left.

Once he was gone my attention went straight to me leg. I knew that the blood loss would eventually kill me but right now my mind was in full survival mode. There wasn't anything I could but wait. That is the one thing I was worried about because the waiting is what could kill me. I let my head rest against the wall. the next thing I knew he was coming down the stairs.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

He just looked at me and took out what looked like a first aid kit but he didn't say anything to me.

"what are you doing?"

I made sure to put aggression in my voice but it didn't work because he just kept doing what he was doing. He took out some gauze and put it over the cuts on my leg from the stab wounds. He took out more gauze and wrapped it around the other gauze. Once he got done he taped down the gauze and got up to leave. He stopped at the bottom of the staircase and looked back out me.

"I don't want you dead yet. I feel like making you suffer some more. The gauze won't completely stop the bleeding but at least you won't die on me tonight."

With that he walked up the stairs without another word. Once again he left me in the dark and alone. I rested my head on the wall and closed my eyes to try and get my mind off of what was happening.


	5. Chapter 4

**ok so I know it has been a really long time since I have updated the story. I have been super busy with some family issues, a nasty cold, and mid-terms are coming up this week but I have a break coming up so I am going to try and get a couple of chapters up for you guys. To fix any confusion, Detective Shepherd is the one who is being tortured by an unknown assailant in the basement chapters. Anyway here is the chapter.**

 **-Three Months Earlier-**

It had been a month since the squad caught the Smith case and nothing had stemmed out of the theory that Karen Smith was being abused by her husband. It was super draining for me because I was being haunted by my own childhood experiences. All I thought about was how I had to save that poor kid so that he gets to grow up around someone who cares about him instead of ending up in the foster system. I spent most of my time trying to find something that could prove the theory that I had. I even went back to try and talk to Karen to see if she would change her mind but I still got nothing. I was frustrated and upset that I couldn't get this guy.

I was sitting in Casey's apartment eating dinner with her and I knew she was saying something but I was zoned out thinking about the case. Casey and I had been together for a few weeks and I was really enjoying being with her. I felt bad that my thoughts always seemed to drift to the Smith case. I was thinking about it when I heard her say something that gripped my attention.

"Earth to Matt, are you still with me bud?"

She sounded like she was frustrated and a little annoyed. I couldn't blame her for it either.

"Yeah, yeah, Just distracted by a case that's all."

"Is it the Smith case?"

I didn't respond. Instead I just gave a weak smile and placed my hand on hers. She moved her hand from under mine and got up and picked up the dishes from the table. She then made her way over to the kitchen. I waited a little bit before getting up and walking into the kitchen behind her. I walked up and put my hands on her shoulders and kissed the back of her head. She let out a sigh before breaking the silence.

"I know you are affected by the case and I know you are just trying to help Karen Smith but you are letting this case consume you."

I let out a sigh. How could I expect her to understand why I felt the way I did about the case when I hadn't even told her about my own past yet. I wasn't ready to tell her about it just yet. I didn't feel a need to just completely open up to her yet. I knew I liked her but I wasn't ready to tell her about my past just yet. I wasn't ready to let my guard down. So I just tried to get through the conversation without it turning into an argument.

"It's nothing Casey. I'm just trying to do my job. I'm not letting the case consume me. I'm just trying to figure out how to get justice for her and her son."

She squirmed out of my grasp and walked to the other side of the kitchen. She crossed her arms and leaned back against the counter.

"That's BS and you know it. Matt…. I don't want to push but something about this case is bothering you. It bothers me too that she is being abused but there is nothing we can do unless she cooperates with us and right now that isn't happening. Look what ever is making this case consume you is your business; I just don't want it to consume you to the point where it will take you away from me."

I could hear her voice soften. I walked over to her and just wrapped her in my arms. I just stood there and held her. I could feel her arms go around my waist. I kissed the top of her head.

"Case, you aren't going to lose me. Nothing will take me away from you but for some reason I just need to make sure I can save her and her son before that monster kills them."

She pulled away and cupped my face with her hands. She held my gaze for a little while.

"You're hiding something but I will respect your privacy. Just don't stress yourself out over this case. I want you to be able to enjoy our time we have together."

I gave a small smile as she held my gaze. She was right, my secret was causing this case to consume me and I was thinking about it way more than I was allowing myself to enjoy my time with Casey.

"I do enjoy our time together. I enjoy you."

I leaned in and kissed her. I scooped her up in my arms and I carried her off to the bedroom. I meant what I said, I did enjoy my time with her and that night I showed her that I did enjoy my time with her.

Later that night I woke up to my phone buzzing. Casey was lying next to me and I reached over her to get my phone. I saw that it was Olivia calling.

"Shepherd."

"It's Olivia. We have a problem with the Karen Smith Case. She has been attacked again. Carisi and Rollins are on their way to the hospital to get a statement but there is one problem."

"What is it?"

"This time Karen Smith wasn't the only one who was attacked. The son, Sam, He was attacked as well. Marcus Smith is nowhere to be found. Sam says he only wants to talk with you. I need you to get down to the hospital as quickly as you can."

"I'm on my way."

With that I hung up the phone and carefully moved Casey off of my arm. I threw on some clothes and left a quick note for Casey and then headed out of her apartment.

When I arrived at the hospital I immediately found Rollins and walked over to her. She was speaking with one of the doctors and I waited until they were done before getting her attention.

"Hey, Rollins, where is Sam?"

"He is in an examination room with some nurses but refuses to speak to anyone but you."

"And how is Karen doing?"

"He really did a number on her. She is in surgery now."

She walked me over to the examination room where Sam Smith was. I knocked on the door and then I walked in. I saw him sitting on the bed and I looked over to the nurse who was making her way over to me. I flashed my badge at her.

"I'm Detective Matt Shepherd with SVU."

She just nodded and walked out of the room. I walked over to Sam and smiled at him.

"Hey Sam."

I felt so bad for him because I knew exactly what he was going through. He looked up at me and

smiled.

"Hi Matt."

"Sam, can you tell me how old you are?"

He looked at me and continued to smile.

"I'm 7."

I just continued to smile as my heart broke for this kid and I realized in that moment that this case was going to a lot harder on me then I originally thought.

"Sam, I know this might be hard but can you tell me what happened tonight?"

He looked away from me but then looked back and all I could see was the pain in his eyes. This kid was hurting on the inside. His tone dropped to a very somber tone.

"My mom and Dad got into a fight. They always fight. I walked over to the kitchen and hid behind a wall where they couldn't see me. He hit her but my dad usually does but this time he was hitting her harder and harder. I went over and stood in front of her to see if he would stop but her didn't. He shoved me out of the way and then my mom told him to leave me alone. He looked at me and smiled before he hit me. I tried to fight him off and he just hit me and so I stopped fighting back so he would leave me alone because it hurt so much. He just kept hitting my mom. He wasn't paying attention to me so I made my way over to the phone and called 911. When I heard things were quiet, I made my way over to my mom and I was scared he was going to come back bit he was gone."

"Do you know where your dad might be?"

he didn't say anything. He just shook his head. I knew it was a long shot to ask him this question. I said goodbye and then walked out of the room. All I really needed right now was some fresh air. As I was making my way out of the hospital Rollins came up and grabbed my shoulder.

"Matt, we have a problem with Marcus Smith."

"What do you mean? I know he is missing but other than that what kind of problem could there be?"

"He is using an alias."

"Ok well what is it?"

"Let me be more specific. Up until about seven years ago there is no record of a Marcus Smith. Marcus Smith is his alias. He is hiding something and I think that Karen Smith might know something about it."

"Well let's wait until she is up and able to talk to us to see if she knows anything. Until then make sure to let Benson know about this and let's see if we can find him before he's gone for good."

 **Sorry for such a slow and bad chapter. My cold really blocking me up and I am super focused on midterms. Once all of this stuff passes in about a week I should be able to crank out a good chapter for you guys. Don't hate me over this one chapter. I am open to suggestions and I really appreciate your reviews.**


	6. Chapter 5

**It has been a while, but I am back with a new chapter. Sorry for the delay, I have had some personal things going on, and I have also had mountains of school work the I have had to get done. Anyway here is my new chapter. As always I only own the storyline** **and my characters that I have created and not the SVU Characters.**

It seemed like the drive from the hospital took forever. I finally made it to the Smith home, and I parked my car out front. As I made my way inside the house, I saw Fin and Carisi standing in the kitchen. I made my way over to them.

"What have you guys found?"

They both turned and looked at me before Carisi started to give me the details.

"We know there was some disagreement because neighbors reported hearing loud yelling coming from the residence."

I nodded at him, and I continued to make my way through the house. As I passed through the different rooms, I made sure to check each of them. I was making my way back to where the other detectives were, and as I approached the kitchen, for the first time since I had arrived I saw all of the blood. I stopped dead in my tracks and just looked at the blood. I had seen crime scenes with blood before because I worked homicide before I was transferred to SVU, but there was something about this case that was just tugging at me. I knew exactly what it was. It was the fact that I hadn't had to confront anything so similarly to what had happened in my life. Except this was different. It wasn't about me, and it wasn't what happened to me. This was about a boy in a dangerous situation, and I needed to fix it.

I slowly started to back away from the kitchen and head towards the door. As I was backing out, Fin made his way over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I jumped from my thoughts when I felt his hand land on my shoulder.

"Hey man, are you ok?"

I turned around and saw the concerned look on his face and just nodded.

"Yeah…. yeah I'm fine. I just need to go out and get some air."

With that, I made my way outside and just stood there. I just couldn't believe that this was happening right now. The fact that I walked out of a crime scene because I couldn't deal with my own issues. I gulped in as much fresh air as I could before making my way over to the house. I stopped and turned to look across the street. I stood there and thought to myself a little and then made my way across the street.

I made my way up the porch steps and walked up to the door. I knocked and waited. I heard movement in the house, and then the door opened.

"Mrs. Thompson, Karen was attacked again along with Sammy."

She gasped as she raised her hands and covered her mouth.

"Do you have any idea where Marcus Smith might have gone? He is nowhere to be found. We don't know where he may have gone, but it'd be good if you could give us at least one place we could start looking for him?"

She just nodded her head, and we stood there in silence for a little while. I looked at her and watched her as she thought of anything that might be helpful. After a couple of more minutes, she nodded her head.

"I remember Karen telling me that he has a brother that lives about an hour or so out of the city. Has farmland as far as the eye can see and it would be easy for him to hide there. That's about all I can think of. I haven't spoken to her much lately. I hope that is helpful."

I smiled and nodded at her.

"Yeah that is great, we will we get right on it. Thank you, Mrs. Thompson."

I pulled out my wallet and left my card with her.

"If you think of anything else just give me a call."

She just gave a weak smile and nodded. I let her go back inside and then made my way back over to the Smith residence. I saw Fin and Carisi standing outside, and I approached them.

"I just spoke to one of the neighbors, and she said that Smith has a brother that lives about an hour outside of the city. Considering that Smith is using an alias who knows if this is his brother or a friend of his helping him out. We have to find that address and get out there before he is in the wind again. This is the only lead we have so let's make sure that is not just dead end."

Once we finished up at the crime scene, Fin and Carisi head back to the crime scene while I made my way back to the hospital.

When I arrived at the hospital, I made my over to a nurse's station so that I could find out which room Karen Smith was staying in. I flashed my badge, and the nurse told me the room number but also to keep my visit short. I made my way down the hall and found Karen's room. I lightly knocked on the door and then entered the room. I made my way into the room where she could see me. I saw her look up at me and then roll her eyes.

"Marcus didn't do this to me. You keep insisting that he is a monster, but he isn't. He cares about Sammy and me. Now he is gone because he is afraid that you are going to blame him again."

I just shook my head.

"Karen, if he cared about you and your son he wouldn't beat you."

She just scoffed at me.

"You should be trying to find the person that did this to me instead of trying to blame my husband for something he didn't do falsely. He told me you'd do this. That you would come here and accuse him and try to find him. He says you're obsessed with us. Our family. He says that you are the monster and hiding behind a badge. Why don't you just leave me alone?"

"Because I don't want to end up at a crime scene where you're dead because your husband killed you. Just tell me where he is, and I will be out of your hair."

"Well, I won't say so just leave…. now."

I looked at her and then out the door and saw a nurse standing there. I knew that she had probably overheard that last part, so I started making my way out of the room before Karen said something else.

"And Detective."

I turned and looked at her.

"The next time you try to talk to me or my son without a lawyer present, I will make sure to have you arrested for harassment."

With that, I was out the door and gone. I knew I had just screwed up in a major way because now we had nothing to go on except for some farmland an hour outside of the city.

 **There you go guys, the newest chapter of my story. Life has been crazy and has kept me busy but here is the new chapter. The semester is coming to an end, so hopefully, I'll have the next chapter out soon. Thanks again for reading and commenting. Until next time.**


	7. Chapter 6

**Quick turnaround for me. I had some free time, and it's a day before finals for me. Here's the chapter.**

As I walked into the precinct, I knew what was going to happen. I walked in and immediately Benson walked out and called me into her office. When I saw the look on the knew that my screw up was pretty major when it came to this case. I walked in and closed the door.

"So Shepherd I got a call a few minutes ago from the Smith's lawyer, and would like to know what she told me? You are no longer to go anywhere near the Smiths. You are to leave them alone."

I looked at her, and I can't say that I was surprised because I wasn't. I figured something like this was going to come up. It was just a way of derailing my investigation, but it still ticked me off a little bit.

"Olivia, I was just doing my job. I'm trying to help this family. He is getting worse, and he is going to kill them. I'm trying to save them."

She sighed and got up and closed the door to her office.

"Sit, I need to have this conversation with you right now before things get too out of hand."

I sat down in one of the chairs in her office, and she sat across from me and just stared at me and waited. Sitting there I felt like a kid in the principal's office. I just sat there and fiddled with my thumbs until she broke the silence.

"Matt, I understand the stress of the job and feeling for the victim but why is this case consuming you so much?"

"I'm not sure what you mean lieutenant."

She gave a little scoff, but I knew what she was hinting at, and I knew that if I didn't come clean that she would just push.

"Matt, this case is consuming you…"

I scoffed.

"You sound like Novak."

I looked at Olivia and knew exactly what was going on.

"She came to you and talked to you didn't she?"

Olivia nodded.

"Casey is concerned about you, and she has good reason to be. She's right. This case is consuming you Matt, and I am just trying to understand why you are so obsessed with this case."

I just shook my head.

"I'm not obsessed with this case; I'm just doing my job."

I went to stand up but I couldn't. I looked at her, and I sighed. I knew exactly what was about to happen. I sat there and looked at Olivia.

"Do you know or are you just trying to get me to the point where I tell you?"

"I do know Matt, but I don't want to push, and I think it would be better to open up to someone about it if not me then someone because it is going to start affecting your job and that'll be a problem."

I sighed and rubbed my hands on my face and through my hair. I couldn't believe what I was about to do. She noticed and got up and sat in the chair next to me.

"Liv, I was abused as a kid. My dad killed my mother and attacked me. I was put in the foster system. I'm just trying to keep what happened to me from happening to Karen and Sam that's all."

Olivia sighed, and we sat in silence while everything that was said digested. She placed a hand on my back.

"Go home and get some rest and try and get your mind in a place where you can get through this case without any more moments for you. I need you to be a hundred percent to finish out this case."

I nodded and gave a weak smile.

"Thanks, Liv."

We both stood up, and I made my way out of the precinct. I got back to my apartment, and I took a shower and then laid down on my couch and tried to drift off and take a nap.

After a while, I woke up and I saw the time. I slept through most of the day, and I realized that I needed to talk to Casey about this.

I made my way down to the DAs office, and I made my way up to Casey's office. The door was closed, so I knocked. I waited, but no one answered so I stood there and I waited for her to get back. I saw her walking down the hallway, and she smiled when she saw me.

"Hey, Matt! What brings you here?"

I smiled at her and just shrugged. I followed her into her office.

"Nothing... just wanted to see you and maybe cook you dinner tonight."

I sat down on the couch in her office.

"Yeah, of course. Just let me put some stuff away, and we'll head over to your place."

After about 10 minutes she was ready to go, and we headed to my apartment. I cooked dinner, and we enjoyed the night together. Once the evening started to wind down, we were sitting on the couch just talking with each other, and I guess I had a look on my face and she asked a question.

"Matt are you ok? Something seems to be bothering you."

I placed my hand on her knee and sighed. The worry began to spread across her face. She put her hand on mine.

"Seriously, you are beginning to worry me."

I looked at her and just shook my head.

"It's just the stress of the case that's been getting to me Case, that's all, nothing more."

She seemed to accept the answer for the time being. She pulled me into a hug, and we sat like that for a while. She is the greatest person. I care so much about her, and for some reason, I still couldn't tell her. It would have been the perfect moment if I had told her just then. I was sitting there in her embrace, and I was just beating myself up. I want to get this off my chest because I want to be close to her and I can already tell that I was going to fall for her and for some reason I just couldn't tell her about my past.

After a while, we fell asleep on the couch. I woke up and looked down and saw her sleeping on my chest. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. When I was sure she was asleep, I sighed and let it all out.

"I need to tell you this but for some reason, I can't muster the courage to say to you while you are awake so hopefully this will help me a little. When I was a kid, I was beaten pretty severely by my dad. He killed my mom and beat me to the point where I could have died. I was a foster kid and adopted by the nicest people in the world. If I took you home, you would meet Frank and Cathy Baker. They took me in and raised me as one of their own. I grew up in Texas, and I had two sisters in my adoptive family. The older one is Caroline and Maggie are my foster sisters, and I enjoyed growing up with them. It was a great little family, but my past still haunted me, and it is pretty intense. I want to take you home to meet them because I know it's early in our little relationship but I want to fall for you because you make me so happy."

I looked down at her, and she shifted but she was still asleep, and I knew that she wasn't awake. She was just moving in her sleep. I meant everything I said, but I wish I were able to tell her while I was awake. Hopefully, I will soon.

I heard the phone ring, and I carefully laid her on the couch and made my way over and answered. The next thing I heard made my breath catch in my chest.

" _You have a collect call from an inmate named Robert Shepherd. Would you like to accept the charges?_ "

I sighed.

"No."

After that, I hung up. I looked over to the couch and saw Casey still sound asleep. I took out my cellphone and dialed someone that I needed to talk to. The phone rang, and then someone answered and when I heard that I began to speak.

"Hey mom, He called, and I just need to talk with you."

 **I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Sorry for such a slow story. I am trying to balance the story between the case and the lives of my main character. Hopefully, it isn't making the story bad. Anyway hoped you enjoyed the chapter. Leave a review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.**


	8. Chapter 7

**Not so much of a quick turn around this time. I also have had a rough year and now with some of my new found free time I am dealing with things that I have put off. I hope that I can turn out good chapters and if I don't all I ask is that you work with me because they will get better. There is also a good jump in time with this chapter. Anyway I hope you enjoy it and hopefully there will be a new chapter soon.**

 **\- Few hours before the basement –**

It had been a while and still no sign of Marcus Smith. It was driving me up the wall but I was not allowed to go near the family. I was literally just sitting and waiting for something to happen. After I found out that I wasn't able to go near the family, I put most of my effort into finding Marcus Smith or whatever his name was. My days were spent tracking down who this man on the loose was and I was also risking my job by spending time across the street at Maybelle Thomas's house in order to keep tabs on the family.

I was returning home to my apartment and when I walked in I saw Casey sitting on the couch with a glass of wine waiting for me. I could also here other voices. When I walked into the living room I saw my family sitting in the living room and Casey came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Matt, your family came for a surprise visit!"

I put on my best smile and hugged my sisters and then my parents.

"Mom, Dad…what a surprise."

My adoptive mother came over and gave me a hug.

"Well you called me a few weeks ago and just sounded so worried so we came as soon as our schedules allowed us."

She kissed me on the cheek before my dad gave me a hug. I was so stunned at the events that were taking place right in front of me. I couldn't believe that my family was here. My mother made her way over to the couch and my father was right behind her. I grabbed my sisters and pulled them into the kitchen. I peeked out to see if anyone was listening but they were laughing about something my father had said. When I looked back both of my sisters were shaking their heads. Caroline was the first to say something.

"You haven't told her yet have you."

I just looked at her before I responded.

"Is that a question or a statement?"

Caroline rolled her eyes before giving a little chuckle.

"It's both. Come on, it was obvious when you first walked into the room and saw us that you hadn't told her. By the way you need to get better at hiding things because if we knew you hadn't told her then she definitely knows something is up."

I let out a sigh before we rejoined our parents in Casey out in the living room. I sat next to Casey and could just see the growing grin on my family's face.

It was nice to have my family around and they seemed to love Casey and that's all that mattered. I kind of guided the conversation so that I could avoid any slip ups that might clue in Casey that I was adopted.

As the night started to wind down, I walked my family out and said good bye. I hugged them all and told them that I would find some time to get lunch or dinner with them while they were still here and that I would of course bring Casey along.

When they were gone I shut the door and let out a sigh. Casey was in the kitchen washing and she looked over at me when she heard me walk in. She gave me a small smile and I returned it. She looked back to the dishes. I knew something was up but I tried to tip toe around it. She was washing the wine glasses and she then began to talk.

"So that's what you have been hiding from me? The fact that your family was coming into town and that they are super caring or is there something more?"

I just exhaled

"I don't know what you are talking about."

She sighed and turn her attention back the glasses before just leaving them in the sink and turning to face me. I could see the disappointment in her eyes because she knew I was lying.

"Matt, I know you didn't know that your family wasn't going to be here. They surprised you as much as they surprised me. We've been together long enough, I think it's time you tell me what you've been hiding. I love you Matt but I have to be able to trust you which means you can't hide things from me."

I had to make a choice in the moment and once I could feel the words coming out of my mouth I knew I had made a bad decision.

"Casey, I'm not hiding anything. You're pushing for something that doesn't exist. I'm not hiding anything from."

I could see the tears forming in her eyes. I had just put a nail in my coffin. She walked towards the living to get her purse and then made her way towards the door. I chased after her hoping it would work.

"Casey wait…. I'm sorry."

She just turned and looked at me and shook her head before walking out of the door. Just like that she was gone. The hurt in her eyes haunted me. She told me she loved and I told her that she was imagining some kind of problem I had when in reality I did have something that was consuming me. She loved me and I loved her but in that moment I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to tell her.

I was still standing there when my phone started to ring.

"Shepherd."

"It's Rollins. We may have a lead on where Smith is and we also know who he is. His name is Kyle McClain and he has multiple outstanding warrant for assault. His killed his two of his past girlfriends."

"Alright, I'm on my way, just send me the address."

I got the text from Rollins as I was headed out the door. As I was unlocking my car, I felt something hit me from behind. It was heavy because when I got up everything was blurry but I could make out a figure in front of me. It hit me and I was knocked to the ground. The last thing I remember was the figure over me and it said.

"This is for meddling where you didn't belong."

After that it hit me again and then everything went dark.

 **Thanks for reading. I know it's been a while but I've had a lot of stuff going on. Hopefully I can get the next chapter out sooner. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks again for reading.**


	9. Chapter 8

**Thanks for staying and reading for so long. I know this hasn't been the most straightforward story to follow but thanks for staying and reading it. It's not the best, but I am learning from the experience and will have better stories in the future. Anyway, here is the next chapter. These final chapters will be after our OC detective is in the basement and his escape from that predicament. Hopefully, there is no confusion.**

So now that we are all caught up, I was cuffed to this pipe, and I couldn't find any way to get free. I pulled on the pipeline for a few minutes, and with no success, I was still stuck, and I had no idea how I was going to get out. I could hear movement upstairs, but I could tell that there was more than one person. I knew that I'd have to get out of here somehow or I was going to die. I couldn't find anything down there to help me.

I just sat there and waited. It seemed like forever before I heard footsteps coming down. Slowly the person made their way down. When the person, turned the light on I immediately knew who it was that abducted me.

"Hi, there detective. It has been a while since we've seen each other in person but believe me I've been watching you and I've been waiting for the perfect time to make my move."

I scoffed.

"Kyle. You have NYPD out there searching for you, and here you are standing in front of me."

"What can I say, shepherd, not everyone is as smart as I am."

He pulled a chair and sat down in front of me. I realize that this probably isn't going to end in my favor. I had to do something to stall for time but with my hands tied there wasn't much that I could do.

"So what now?"

He gave me a puzzled look.

"What do you mean? I have you chained up in a basement, and I'm going to make sure you don't make it out of here alive."

I nodded.

"What I mean is that you're the bad guy, Shouldn't you have some long monologue to drone on about your plan."

He scoffed

"This isn't a movie smart ass. I'm going to kill you no matter what, but I want you to suffer, so I am going first to take away something that is precious to you like you did to me."

"What I did was take your wife and kid out of a bad situation. You were going to kill them, and I am going to save them."

I knew I shouldn't have provoked him but I did and I paid for it. He hit me over and over. He got a good knee to the face before stopping and laughing. I could feel the blood dripping down my face but just looked up and smiled at him before spitting the blood out of my mouth. He just shook his head.

"You don't know anything about me and my family. I take care of them and I provide for them. All Karen has to do is not fuck up and I wouldn't have to hit and Sammy…. Well he wasn't supposed to be there but I couldn't control my rage and hit him to. we could just be happy but Karen just can't seem to get it through her head that she needs to be a better wife and mother."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. The scumbag was blaming his family for the vial acts that he was committing. I was going to say something before I noticed someone making their way down the stairs. The person hit McClain from behind with one hit. He apologized to me and then knocked me out as well.

The next thing I knew; I was laying in the back seat of a truck. My head was pounding and Every other part of my body was beginning to ache and hurt as well. A noise caught my attention and I looked up.

"Sorry bout hittin' ya back there. I wasn't sure you'd come with me willing so this was the only way."

I hadn't heard that drawl in so long but I knew it the moment I heard it.

"What do you want Robert and how did you get here?"

He scoffed and shook his head.

"Not much of a greeting for your old man after he saved ya huh, well I guess I deserve it considering what I did to you and your mama. I know you'll never forgive me but at least let me try to help ya out."

"That doesn't answer my question and I didn't need your help. I had everything under control."

He just laughed sand shook his head.

"If that's what ya want to call it but fine. I served my 27-year sentence. I called ya a few weeks back to let ya know but like always there was no response. I write letters to but those don't go anywhere except for the last one I sent. I had a fella I knew on the inside do a little digging for me and go me your address but like I said, there was no response. I sent that a couple weeks back."

I just shook my head. I couldn't believe it. Had it really been that long. I always dreaded this day growing up and it was part of the reason I took the transfer out of state.

"How did you get up here and how did you know where I was?"

"I took some of the money I had and got a bus ticket. Figured there might be some work and I could get a clean start because I couldn't go back. You know how rumors spread in a small town and I wasn't ready to face that. I've been doing odd jobs around the city lately. I responded to an ad for some work. Said they needed someone to help move some stuff out. Said they'd pay in cash. I showed up early and the door was unlocked. I wandered in and was trying to find someone to talk to so I could get to work and heard the noise from down in the basement. I went down and saw what I saw and did what I did and here we are."

He looked in the rearview mirror at me and in that moment I was staring down the monster who had killed my mother and almost killed me. At the same time, I saw much softer eyes then the ones I remember. They seem to be softer and he seems to have aged more than I thought he would have. My parents had me when they were young so it wasn't like he was in his sixties or seventies. He was fifty-one but looked a little older. I couldn't believe that I as actually leaning towards forgiving him but a small part of me wanted to. I didn't want to be the type that held a grudge but at the same time I would always be haunted by what he did. His voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"I'm really sorry for what I did to you and your mama. I was a monster but now that I'm out I want to try and do right by ya."

I just nodded and sighed.

"I know but I'm not ready to let you just waltz right back into my life like nothing happened."

He nodded before looking away but to let him know I'd work on it I said something else.

"Thanks for saving me back there."

He gave a small smile and then pulled into a little gas station.

"I have to fill her up."

And with that he walked into the store and came back and began pumping gas. I moved from the back to the front. I could feel the pain spread throughout my body. When Robert was done pumping gas he got back in the truck and pulled out. He looked over at me.

"A good amount of people are out looking for you son. Seems the NYPD has much respect for ya."

"Yeah well the NYPD looks after their own. How long have I been missing?"

He furrowed his brow as he began to think and rack his brain for an answer.

"Paper this mornin' said you'd been gone about two days."

I let out a sigh. It felt like I was gone for much longer than I actually was. He saw that I was in thought and pulled my attention back to the conversation at hand.

"Any particular place ya want me to go?"

I sat and thought before nodding

"Yeah, The 1-6 precinct. I need to let them know I'm fine and to get them searching for the right guy."

He nodded and after that it was a relatively quiet ride other than me giving him directions to the precinct. After a little while I began to say something. I don't know why I was telling him this but the words just came flooding out of my mouth.

"The other reason we are going there is because my girlfriend will be there."  
He looked at me and nodded but I kept going.

"She's the assistant district attorney and she really cares about me and loves me but at the same time I haven't been super forward with her. I've actually been kind of a jerk to her and all she is trying to do is get to know me. She really loves and cares for me but I have been a jerk."

He nodded and I looked out the window. Why was I opening up to him like this after all he has done to me? He began speaking after a few moments of silence.

"If ya love her then tell her because you only have so many days in this life. As for you pushing her away, if she truly loves ya, then you two will get through this but you have to talk to her and tell her."

I nodded at him and then we both sat there in car for the rest of the ride in silence.

Once we got to the precinct he helped me out of the truck and we made our way up to SVU. When we walked into the precinct I caught the eyes of Olivia and just like that everything and everyone stopped and looked over. Olivia came over but before she made it all of the pain hit my system and it was too much for my body. I passed out and all I could see was black.

 **Not the greatest way to end the chapter but it is a new chapter. Sorry for the delay in posting, life keeps me super busy. Hope you guys enjoy and I'll see you in the next chapter. Any questions, concerns, or just a comment please leave a comment so I know what you are thinking. Thanks for reading.**


	10. Chapter 9

**I had some free time so I thought I would try to hammer out a new chapter in the story for you guys. Thanks for reading and here you go.**

I woke up and saw a bright light. It wasn't just the light that was bright it was also the bright white walls that made me squint like I was looking right at the sun. I finally realized where I was when I heard the steady beeps of the monitors that were around me. There was of course the achiness of my body that started to flow through. I realized I was in a hospital. It makes sense considering I had collapsed in the squad room. I looked over and smiled when Casey asleep in the chair next to my bed. I looked outside and for the first time I saw the day light outside but I knew that it didn't matter right now because I was stuck here. I looked back over at Casey who had woken but hadn't noticed me yet. She had her hand on the bed but was focused on whatever was on her phone. I reached over and placed my hand on hers. She looked up at me and smiled.

"You scared us there for a little bit. We thought we had lost you."

I shook my head at her and smiled.

"You don't have to worry about that because I am not going anywhere. I'm here to stay."

I lifted her hand up and kissed it. She smiled and got up to go get a nurse but before she left she kissed me on the head. When she came back she stood at the door as the nurse went over my chart and checked my vitals. She then went over the treatment and what had happened. I got some stitches and the stab wound on my leg was deep but nothing that some physical therapy couldn't fix in order to get it better. Most of it was internal bleeding and I just had to take it easy for a while and make sure to go to my primary care physician for a follow up and make it through physical therapy. I collapsed due to pain and exhaustion so rest would do me a lot of good. I smiled and thanked her before returning my attention to Casey. I waved her over.

"I don't bite or anything like that I promise."

She just smiled and walked over to the bed but didn't sit.

"Case, you're really starting to worry me. What is going on?"

She let out a sigh.

"They got McClain a few hours ago."

"Ok that's a good thing though right."

She let out a sigh and shook her head.

"Yes but it's not only the charges of attacking you and the abuse. He is also being charged with murder. Well two murders actually. Matt…. He killed his son and the elderly neighbor Maybelle Thomas. I know this isn't the outcome that you wanted."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He went and killed the poor innocent kid. I also felt guilty because I got Maybelle Thomas involved by making her my informant on the family. It was my fault that she was dead.

"Case, when does the trial start?"

She sighed.

"In a couple of days, I have been preparing but I've spent most of my time at the precinct and here trying to make sure you are ok."

I just nodded and thanked her. I also knew how she felt about my involvement of the case and there was a chance that she was going to try and not call me as a witness for the prosecution. I'd understand but I also thought that it was a completely unfair thing for her to do but it was her decision.

I looked over to her and gave a sad smile her way.

"Don't worry. We will nail this guy and everything will be ok. What else happened while I was away?"

That seemed to pull her mind away from things for a little bit.

"Your friend came by to check on you."

I gave a puzzled look.

"Which friend?"

"Uh, the one who brought you into the precinct, His name was Robert and said that he was an old family friend and he just wanted to know how you were doing. I think he might be in the waiting area still. He's been here as long as I have."

I just nodded me head and gave her a smile. Before I got the chance to say anything my family came in through the door and she and I weren't able to finish our conversation but that was ok because I don't think it was really going anywhere.

I spent the much needed time with my family and a few days on the hospital. My family had to head back to Texas but my mother made me swear up and down that if I needed anything I would call and that she would be on the very next flight if I called. I told her I would be fine and then kissed me goodbye. I love spending time with my family but I was hoping it wouldn't be me in the hospital.

After a few days I started feeling a lot better and my injuries were healing up pretty nicely. I was released from the hospital and I was happy to get out of there. When I made it home I crutched my way over to the couch. I was going to be on crutches until my doctor gave the all clear. I sat down and just let out a sigh. Casey was there and did her best to try and make me feel better but despite her best efforts I still felt bad about what happened. Those people died because of me. We were sitting watching TV together and I was dozing off until I heard her phone ring. I looked over and she gave me a smile that said sorry and I nodded to let her know that I was ok and that she should go.

"Alright…. yeah I'll be right there." She hung up the phone and then looked back over at me.

She stood up and gathered before heading over to me and kissing me on the head.

"Sorry, I have to go. I'll be back later I promise. If you need anything though call me."

I smiled and nodded at her before watching her head out the door. I went back to watching TV. I dozed off for a while but then woke up to the news. The 8 o'clock news was on and the main story was the murder of Sammy Smith and Maybelle Thomas. I watched as they went over the details of the case that they had. I couldn't watch or listen anymore so I turned it off. Before I thought about the consequences of my actions I was in my car and on the way to the hospital. Once I was there I made my way to Karen Smith's room as stealthily as could considering I was a guy on crutches. When I reached her room I took a deep breath before crutching my way into the room. When I walked in I got the reaction I was expecting when she saw me there.

"What on earth are you doing here?"

She was angry that I was there and I knew that. She was very angry and I knew why.

"Look I just came to tell you that you should testify against him."

She just shook her head and looked away from me.

"You don't get it. You don't know what it's like. He wasn't always like this. He used to be gentle and kind. It started slowly and grew over time. I became afraid but I knew that the sweet and kind human being that he was so I thought maybe I could get him back to the way he was in the beginning."

I shook my head at her because I couldn't believe what she was saying to me. I sighed in frustration.

"He lied to you. He abused you and he killed two people. You say you know who he is but you really don't know the first thing about him. He says he loved you but killed your son and your neighbor. I just don't understand why you won't just testify. Why do you keep protecting him when all he does is continually hurt you?"

She looked back at me with a pained look in her eyes.

"He loves me and I love him. That's all I need to know. He did a horrible thing but I love him."

I sighed.

"He's just going to keep hurting you and you really deserve something better."

She kept the same pained look on me.

"I love him and our attorney will be speaking with the ADA. Now leave."

As I left she picked up her phone and knew exactly who she was calling. I slowly made my way down to the car and saw the time. 10 o'clock and I was exhausted but I knew that I had probably just messed up the case for everyone just because I felt the need to get Karen Smith to testify against her husband.

I made it back to my apartment and went straight to my room and laid down in bed. As I was laying there I heard Casey make her way into the room. I pretended to be asleep and when I felt the weight of the bed shift and one last sigh I finally opened my eyes and I reached out to place a hand on her but I didn't. I just tried to go to sleep but spent most of the night thinking about how I just screwed up something for everyone.

The next morning, I woke up to an empty apartment but it hadn't been empty long because the smell of fresh coffee was still lingering in the air. I got a cup and just drank it there in my empty kitchen. My phone buzzed and I put the cup down to move over to get it. I saw that there were two missed calls as well as voicemails. One was from Casey and the other was from Olivia. I listened to both of them knowing fully what they were about. I started with the one from Olivia.

" _Matt, what were you thinking? Karen Smith's lawyer was waiting for me this morning when I got to the office. You went and talked to her even though I told you to stay away from her. You disobeyed a direct order. Just meet me in my office so we can discuss where we go from here. I'm going to bat for you because the trail has started but I'm not sure what is going to happen because the defense is probably going to use this against us so just meet me today in my office when you can."_

I sighed after listening and then went to listen to the one from Casey.

" _Liv probably called and told you what happened but you already know what happened. I get you have thing for this case but you need to drop it because this is ridiculous. You have to stay away from her. Listen this time Matt. Stay away from her."_

After listening to the voicemails I made my way into the room to change to head down to the precinct. I threw on a clean shirt and some jeans. I headed down to the precinct and I was fully prepared to take the chewing out that I deserved. I nodded and smiled at the other detectives and crutched my way into Olivia's office. She was sitting in there and so was Casey. I sighed and closed the door. I sat on the couch that was in the office and placed my crutches on the wall before looking up at the two women who were standing in front of me. Olivia started.

"I get you were just trying to do your job but there are going to be consequences. After the trial for this case is done, you're going to be suspended. The time of that suspension is unknown right now but you are going to be suspended. Plus, this will coincide with you taking some time off to heal from your injuries."

I just nodded and understood but I was still upset. I didn't say anything. All I did was lean back on the couch and let out another sigh. After a little bit of time passed Casey started to break the silence.

"The trial has started and the defense is expecting us to not call you because of this but I was going to call you as a witness no matter what was going on. I feel like it would be a solid thing for us to do to try and win the jury over since you are so knowledge able on the case."

She moved over to the couch and placed her hand on my shoulder and gave me a small smile before continuing.

"We don't have to worry about them bringing up our relationship as a conflict of interest because we have already disclosed our relationship but it still isn't the best thing that we are on the same case. I will call you as a witness but I need you to be calm and collected. I know that you fell a certain way about this case and that it consumes you but going into your testimony you can't let it consume you."

She sighs before asking the next question she needs to ask. It was both professional and something she needed to know I guess to calm her questioning mind.

"Is there anything that the defense might find out about you or your past that could work against us. Something that could discredit you, please let me know."

I shook my head.

"No, there is nothing that you need to worry about Casey."

She nodded and gave a small smile. I looked at Olivia and saw the look on her face and looked over to Casey and gave a small smile and put my hand on her hand. She took a breath.

"Ok well that's all we have and all we wanted to talk about."

Casey stood up and she smiled at Olivia before turning her attention back to me.

"Let me help you Matt."

She helped me up and before we left I thanked Liv. I then made my way out of the precinct and we headed towards the elevator. When the doors closed I looked over at Casey.

"Case, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have done it but I did and I'm sorry that I'm an idiot."

She just nodded and a kissed me and then my cheek.

"Don't worry about it. You didn't mess anything up. Sure you made things a little harder than they were before but you didn't completely ruin the case. I'll see you later when I get home ok. You should rest so that you are well rested tomorrow when I call you."

With that we made it to the floor we needed. She helped me over to the car and before I got in I hugged her. It caught her off guard a little but I hugged her anyway. Before I pulled away she turned and waved before heading back inside. I waved back at her and then once she was out of sight I sighed and headed home. I needed to go clear my head.

 **Here is my new chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. The chapters will continue to come. The time between will depend on the amount of free time I have. I tend to have busy weeks but I will try to get chapters out as soon as I can. Thanks for reading.**


	11. Chapter 10

**Here is another chapter. I figured since I had some free time on my hands I would write as many chapters as I can before I start to become super busy again. Anyway, I hope you are enjoying the story.**

I woke up the next morning and I wasn't sure how I felt. I was going to testify in the Smith case but I wasn't nervous about the case I was nervous about what might come up today. I knew that if and when Casey was blindsided in court today that it was going to be my fault. I got up and started getting ready. I grabbed my tie and started to fumble when I heard a knock on the door. I made my way over and I saw Casey making her way into the apartment. She smiled when she saw me.

"Just left some case stuff here. Are you ready?"

I nodded

"Yeah I just have to tie my tie and I'll be ready to head down to the courthouse."

She put the case files down and walked over to me. I gave a small smile as she began to tie my tie for me. When she was done she gave me a quick kiss.

"You clean up very nicely detective. I'll see you at the court house. Don't be late."

I nodded and smiled at her before she made her way out. Once the door closed I let out a sigh and my smile dropped. Today was going to suck. I went back into the room to get my jacket and then gathered my stuff before heading out the door.

I made my way down to the courthouse and sat outside of the courtroom during the testimonies. At this point I would be pacing at this point if I wasn't on crutches. This was the one time that I wasn't going to be able to lie or get around my past. As I was sitting there Robert walked up and sat next to me. I looked over at him.

"What are you doing here?"

He sighed and scoffed.

"I came to support ya and to make sure you were alright."

I rolled my eyes.

"It's good to see that you finally care about my well-being. I appreciate what you did for me but like I told you in the truck, I'm not ready for you to be a part of my life but yet you keep showing up. Look I don't know how to feel about you. just give me some time."

He sighed and nodded.

"I understand but I'm still going in there for ya. I want to make things right between you and I no matter how long it takes."

I nodded and before I could respond I heard my name being called.

"Detective Matthew Shepherd."

I stood up and made my way into the courtroom. I looked back and Robert nodded at me. I caught the door and nodded back before making my way in.

I took a deep breath as I made my way to the witness stand. I was mentally beginning to doubt all of my decisions up to this point but I knew there was no point. I was sworn in and then the questioning began with the prosecution. Casey stood up and made her way over to the area in front of the stand.

"Detective Shepherd, what was your involvement in the case?"

I cleared my throat and began to answer the question.

"I became involved in the case when my lieutenant brought the case to my attention."

"Can you explain what happened after that?"

"Well first I got details about the case and once I had the details I went and talked to the defendant who I thought at the time was Marcus Smith."

"What did you later find out?"

"We later found out that the defendant was actually Kyle McClain and that he had a history of violence. It also came to our attention that he was abusing his wife."

"And how did you obtain this information detective?"

"I obtained the information by speaking to one of his neighbors."

"Which neighbor would that be?"

"The neighbor was Maybelle Thomas and I obtained information about the defendant from Maybelle Thomas."

"Detective, were you apart of the arresting party?"

"I was not a part of the arresting party because I was held captive by the defendant for two days and then I was in the hospital being treated for injuries that I obtained during that two-day period. I wasn't even aware that the two victims were killed until I was in the hospital."

"So if you weren't apart of the murder case then what case were apart of?"

"I was a part of the case that was investigating the attack on his wife Karen Smith."

"While investigating that case what did you find?"

"I found that the defendant was abusing his wife as well as his child. He was also the main suspect in his wife's rape case."

"Thank you detective, nothing further your honor."

With that Casey sat down and the defense attorney, Nikki Staines began to her questioning.

"Detective, did you harass my client's wife into saying that he attacked her?"

"I didn't harass her…. I just went to try and talked to her but left when she got upset. I wouldn't call doing my job harassment."

"Would you say you had a vendetta out against my client because you thought he was abusing his family"

"No, of course not. I followed leads as I got them. I never had a vendetta against Mr. McClain."

"Would you say that you get emotionally or personally involved in a case?"

"I use emotion to connect to a victim and to sympathize with the victim but I wouldn't let my personal feeling influence how I investigate a case."

She nodded and gave a smug grin.

"Huh, I see…redirect your honor?"

We all looked over at judge Moredock. He nodded.

"Proceed counselor."

"Thank you. Detective, you grew up in Texas right?"

Casey spoke up.

"Objection your honor, what does this have to do with the case at hand?"

"It has to do with how Detective Shepherd handles certain cases. The detective opened the door when he said he doesn't get personally and emotionally involved in cases and my line of questioning will prove otherwise. I promise that it will tie back."

He nodded.

"I'll allow it but please get to your point counselor. Detective please answer the question."

I nodded.

"I did, I grew up in a small town in Texas."

"Detective, would you say that you had a normal childhood?"

"I would say it was a pretty normal childhood."

"Really, because I have an obituary here from 1984 for a Jennifer Shepherd who died and left behind a 7-year-old boy. Is there any relation between you and the decease?"

I hesitated but didn't say anything.

"Detective, is there any relation between you and the deceased mentioned in the obituary?"

I looked up at her and answered.

"Yes there is."

Staines stood in front of me.

"And what is it?"

"She…uh…"

"What is your relation to her?"

"She's my biological mother."

"Detective, do you know what happened to the deceased?"

"Yes I do."

"Please explain detective and then please explain what happened afterwards."

I sighed and then my gaze met Casey's who seemed to be intent on listening and not even objecting. She was finally going to get the answer that she's been pushing for. My gaze didn't leave hers until I was done explaining.

"My biological father was abusive and beat her to death after he beat me within an inch of my life after I tried to defend her…"

My voice began to crack a little.

"Afterwards I was put into the foster system before being adopted by my adoptive parents. My biological father was sentenced to twenty-seven years and I had as normal of a childhood that I could have after that."

My gaze went from Casey's to Staines, as she moved back towards where she was sitting, and then looking down at my hands that were fidgeting in my lap. I heard Staines speak again.

"So you're saying after all you went through; you didn't feel strongly about making sure my client paid for what you thought he did?"

I looked up at her but it wasn't with the determination I had earlier. It was now a sad look in my eyes. My voice was still a little shaky. I hadn't had to talk about what happened to me for a while and I still hadn't dealt with all of my feelings about the events that took place in my childhood.

"I was doing my job. I followed the evidence. It doesn't matter how I feel or what I've been through, I did my job."

"Really detective, because it seems that you did have a vendetta and you harassed my client and his family. You let your emotions take over and you bullied Mr. McClain's wife into saying what you wanted to hear but it didn't work because she is only here to support her husband."

This time Casey spoke up.

"Objection your honor."

Before Judge Moredock could say anything Staines spoke up.

"Withdrawn, Nothing further."

Judge Moredock dismissed me and I made my way out of the courtroom. Olivia gave me a sad smile and Robert stood up to help me out. I waited outside the courtroom until the end of the session and then tried to talk to Casey. I stood up and made my way over. She looked at me but I could tell she was upset.

"Casey…I'm sorry."

She just shook her head and walked away.

"Just don't."

I stood there but then I moved over to the bench until I had to go home. When I got home I tried to call but she didn't pick up I left a voicemail but nothing that I said was going to fix what I did. I let out a sigh and just sat on the couch. I spent the night staring at the wall.

 **Thanks for reading. I've been thinking about making this a series but not sure yet. All I know is that our story will be coming to a close soon. I still have some stuff to wrap up. Let me know what you think about my original character and things you'd like him to improve and work on if this did become an ongoing series. Thanks.**


	12. Chapter 11

**I know it has been a little bit but here is a new chapter. If you have been following the story since the beginning, you know that this is a quick turnaround for me. Anyway here is the latest chapter.**

It had been two weeks since I testified in court and nothing really had changed. The jury has been out for three days, and it doesn't seem like the jury is going to come back anytime soon. As I was thinking this, I was sitting outside of Casey's office waiting for her. I was lost in my thoughts when the sound of heels brought me out of them. I looked up and stood up when I saw it was in fact, Casey. She looked at me and then opened the door.

"Why are you here Matt?"

I followed her into her office and closed the door before responding.

"Well, it was my last resort considering you don't return or answer any of my calls."

She just looked at me and didn't say anything, so I made my way over to put a hand on her arm, but she moved away from me.

"What do you want me to say, Matt? That I'm perfectly fine that I was completely blindsided in court or that I'm totally fine with the fact that my boyfriend lied straight to my face when I asked him about it. I'm sorry for what you went through as a kid I really am, but that doesn't give you the right flat out lie to me. I asked you about it, and you made it seem like it was all in my head and that I was making up some fictional problem when in reality I wasn't at all. You know I honestly thought that you were distant because of me pushing something I was making up but no. I don't care about what happened, I was never going to leave you for it. I love you flaws and all but you couldn't just leave well enough alone. You got too involved."

I looked at her. I could see the hurt and anger in her eyes. I could see the tears that were forming, but I knew that she was right. I went there to apologize, and that's what I did.

"Casey, I'm Sorry. I didn't mean for you to get hurt. I just didn't think it was something that would come up. I didn't think it was relevant."

She shook her head in anger.

"It was all relevant Matt. Staines used that to discredit you as a witness, and I had to do a lot of damage control and still am while the jury is deliberated because of this."

She dropped a newspaper on the table in front of me. I picked it up and read the headline.

Vindictive Detective Derails Double Murder Trial

"After you testified, Staines painted you out to be a person with a vendetta, and it was very convincing. At one point I wasn't sure I was going to win, and at one point I even believed her myself, but I kept fighting to make sure that the jury knew that we were there because he killed those two people and I was doing a damn good job at it until Karen Smith testified for the defense."

I didn't say anything. I just stood there with the newspaper in my hand looking at it. At this point, She was beyond angry. I didn't say anything to make her feel better though. I just stood there. I couldn't even look at her.

"How many times did you go and talk to her to convince her to cooperate with the police? How many times did you try to talk to that poor little boy or the neighbor? How many times did you go after we told you to drop it and stay away from them?"

I didn't look at her. I just dropped the newspaper back onto the table and continued to stare at it.

"Look at me."

I look up at her. I could see the anger and hurt in her eyes.

"How many times Matt?"

"I don't know Casey, a few times maybe but I was doing my job. I was trying to get information. Those two deaths aren't on me. I'm not the one who battered my family and then killed them it was McClain."

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way because you and Karen Smith handed the defense its case. I don't know if this is going to go in our favor."

"I'm sorry, Casey I really am. Are we going to be ok? I care about the case and all, but you are what is really important to me."

She just scoffed as she wiped away the stray tears that were making their way down her face.

"You sure know how to make a girl feel special. I don't know, I'm just trying to process everything. Is this what it's going to be like after every case you feel is more worthy of your time and feelings? Are we always just going to end up right back here having this exact same fight because if so this isn't something I want. It isn't something I need."

"What are you trying to say, Casey?"

She just shrugged.

"I don't know; I just need some space ok. Give me some time and space, and then we can talk ok."

I sighed and then tried one last time to comfort her, but I wasn't successful.

"Please Matt, just go."

With that, I made my way out of her office. I couldn't believe it. I made my way down to the precinct and sat at my desk. I couldn't believe that I was going to lose everything but it wasn't because of other people, it was because of me. I did this, and there was no way that I could fix it. I just had to wait like everyone else. I was fiddling with my phone keeping it from going to sleep so that I could look at a picture of Casey and me. It was one of my favorite photos of us together. I took when we were leaving a dinner that we went to together. I said something stupid, and she laughed. Her laugh was terrific, and so I wrapped my arm around her and snapped the photo. I was lost in thought when Rollins snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Shepherd, the jury is back."

I got up and made my way down to the courthouse. I found the courtroom and made my way in. As I made my way in Casey looked back, and I gave a small, sad smile, and she just looked away. I found the closest bench and sat down and waited. I stood as the judge made his way in and looked over at the jury. I was hoping and praying that This would somehow end in our favor. Robert was also there, and he moved over to where I was sitting. He put his hand on my shoulder, and I just sat there. Before I knew it, Judge Moredock was addressing the Jury.

"Madame foreman have you reached a verdict?"

The woman nodded.

"We have your honor."

"On the count of murder in the second degree, how do you find the defendant?"

"On the count of second-degree murder, we find the defendant, Kyle McClain, Not Guilty."

I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until Robert told me to breathe but I couldn't until I knew all of the verdicts.

"and on the second count of murder in the second degree how do you find the defendant?"

"On the second count of murder in the second degree, we find the defendant, Kyle McClain, Not Guilty."

"Ladies and gentleman of the jury, thank you for your service. The court is dismissed."

My breath caught in my throat. I couldn't believe this. I looked over and saw him smirking. He got off, and it was partly due to me. I got up and moved towards the prosecution table, but before I could get there, Olivia stopped me.

"We need to talk; can you meet me in my office?"

I nodded

"Yeah, just give me a minute."

I got close just as Casey was about to leave but before I could say anything to her, I made the mistake of looking over at the defense table. McClain looked over at me and gave a smug grin before making his way out of the courtroom with Karen Smith trailing behind him. I looked over at Casey, and she went to brush past me, and before I could stop her, she was already past me and leaving. I was able to catch outside of the courthouse as she was making her way down the steps.

"Casey wait!"

She stopped and turned around.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt or for this outcome."

She nodded and gave a small, sad smile.

"I know, but that still doesn't change anything."

I sighed, but she shocked me by what she did next. She came back up some of the steps and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Just give me some time Matt. I don't want what happened to be the end of us, but I just need some time to think about and process everything that has happened. I promise we will talk and fix this but just not right now. I think right now we both just need some space."

I nodded, and with that, she left. Everything fell apart, and it was all because of me. I couldn't just stand there and sulk. I made my way down to the precinct and into Olivia's office. I walked in and saw Olivia and someone else standing there.

"Detective, close the door and come in."

I did as I was told.

"Olivia, What's going on?"

"This is John Munch. He is an investigator with the DAs office."

I moved to shake the hand that he stuck out to me. I shook his hand, and he began to explain what was going on.

"Karen Smith and Kyle McClain have filed complaints against you."

I sighed

"I don't understand, I thought all of that was addressed in court, and I firmly stand by what I said. I was just doing my job."

He nodded

"I understand that, but the DAs office and IAB will be investigating to see if there was any police misconduct."

I shook my head and sighed. Before I got the chance to say anything Olivia spoke up.

"Matt, this investigation means that I have to formally place you on a suspension. I need your badge and your gun."

I placed them both on Olivia's desk and took a step back. She sighed and Much spoke up.

"Your Lieutenant and I go way back. I promise she is going to be kept in the loop with everything that happens. I'll try to keep the investigation in a short time frame, but I will also be very thorough."

I nodded and shook his hand.

"Thank you."

I looked over at Olivia.

"This time off will be good for you Matt, and before you know it, you'll feel better about everything ok."

I nodded and gave her a small smile, and with that, I made my way out of the squad room and headed home. I couldn't believe this. Both my job and my relationship were hanging in the balance all because of one stupid decision I made.

 **Definitely not the last chapter but the next one will be. Thanks for reading and sticking with the story. I know it isn't the best story but I definitely have been working on my writing skills, and the next story I put up will be way better. Thanks for reading and the last chapter will be up soon.**


	13. Chapter 12

**It has been a pretty long ride up to this point. I will definitely have the next one typed out before posting if I write a continuation to this story. Anyway, this chapter will be short, but I do hope that you enjoyed reading and thank you to everyone who left a review. There is a little bit of a time jump here.**

I sat there on the bar stool wallowing in my misery. I had been put on suspension and really wasn't the happiest. It had been about a month and still here I was not working because of something I thought was stupid. I had been there for a little while when a girl with brown hair came and sat next to me. I saw her out of the corner of my eye and didn't pay any mind to her ordered another drink.

"Tough day?"

I looked over and saw green eyes that caught my attention. She smiled, and I smiled back.

"More like a tough month."

She just smiled and nodded. She stuck her hand out.

"I'm Allison."

I shook her hand.

"I'm Matt."

At that moment both of our drinks had arrived. I went to grab my beer when I noticed her lifting her glass.

"Well here's to better days and good people."

We tapped our drinks together, and the clink of the glass made her give a small giggle before she took a sip. I drank some of my beer.

"So…what has you down?"

I looked over at her and took a drink. There was a pause before I answered. I sighed and then looked over at her.

"Uh, just some work stuff has me a little stressed out. I'm hoping it blows over soon."

She nodded, and we continued the conversation for a little bit before I realized what time it was. I paid my tab before moving to leave. I walked Allison out of the bar. As we stood outside in the cold, we began to end our conversation.

"So this is where our time together ends?"

I gave a chuckle and a smile before answering.

"Yeah it is, I have to head home."

She returned the smile.

"Ah, heading home to a dog that is waiting for you?"

I shook my head.

"Actually, I'm hopefully heading home to my girlfriend."

She nodded and gave a smile.

"Well, she is a very lucky girl."

I gave one last smile before hailing Allison a cab. When it pulled up, I opened the door for her. Before I closed the door, she looked up at me.

"Well here's my number. If I don't get a call, I understand, but hopefully, we can run into each other again and have a drink together…you know as friends."

I nodded, smiled, and then closed the cab door. I watched it drive away before making my way home. Allison was an interesting person, but I meant what I said to her. I was hoping that Casey would finally be at home waiting for me. I knew it was a long shot, but I kept my faith in the thought that when I walked through the door, she would be there but once again I was wrong.

As I made my way into my empty apartment, I tossed my keys on the counter and took off my jacket. I threw it on the couch before making my way to the bedroom. Once I was ready for bed, I laid down. I turned the light off and looked over to the empty space next to me. I placed my hand in the empty space where Casey would have been. I left my hand there as I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

 **Thank you so much for reading my story. I do appreciate all of the reviews and support.**


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